Day One: My list for fighting SAHM depression and being Awesome

OK. Here we go. The hunt fore Awesomeness must begin somewhere, so I've compelled a list of Awesome things to achieve, I'm going to add to it regularly and hopefully strike things off... So here it is in no particular order:

Feeling Awesome I don't want to just do awesome things, I want to feel awesome. so this means looking after myself. Everyone knows this, but that doesn't mean we do it!

1. Sleep more: Once upon a time I thought sleep was awesome, truth be told I got too much of it. But my bed was my best friend and I hid chocolate in my pillowcase. These days it's difficult to sleep when the kids are asleep, because thats my me time. I get to watch shows without talking animals in them, take the safe search off google, eat chocolate without having to share. On average I get about six hours sleep. Seven if the kids sleep in. But I'm a demotivated cranky wreck all day, so starting tonight the attempt will be minimum eight hours sleep.
2. Eat: I'm lucky to be relatively thin, its not from eating well or hard work, its simply because I'm too busy/lazy/tired to prepare food for myself. I kind of hate cooking (sometimes I get a burst of inspiration for cake and various desserts but that's mostly because I want some sugar.) Not only do I rarely eat, when I do its pretty nutritionally lacking (cup of tea for breakfast, piece of toast for lunch, mouthful of whatever Bland food I make for the kids dinner, sometimes Mr. Bland brings me take-out, though I suspect this is because he knows I've not cooked him anything for dinner, and he was hungry) 
3. Exercise: This will hopefully kill three birds with one stone, supposedly Exercise will increase the happy drugs in my brain, give me better orgasms, and tone up the flabby I've had three children tummy. 
4. Confidence: All I do is plod through life sulking about how it should be better, I feel a bit hopeless and pathetic at times because I have no existence outside my home, and I'm a pretty shit homemaker. My house is a mess, I look like crap and I have no life other than my kids. It occurs to me that I must not be as confident as I think I am.

Acting Awesome: Time to get a life Mrs Bland

1. Enjoy my Family: I spend so much time complaining, correcting, cleaning, cooking, but very little time actually enjoying. No more C words. Time to try and make time for fun.
2. Get a Hobby to do Alone: Here's something I've NEVER done. Unless watching TV counts? 
3. Learn to drive: I've been dreading it, but its got to happen, I live in a regional town and busses are hourly (plus the whole three kids thing) Everyone lectures me on the importance of learning to drive and the independence it will give me. Time to bite the bullet and learn.
4. Be Awesome to my Husband: Ok let me start by saying I am not a 1950's housewife not do I want to be. I expect my man to hold hid own around the house, take care of himself and spoil me with love, so I don't think it's sexist for him to expect the same from me. I complain he doesn't take me out, doesn't help cook or clean, doesn't have fun with me, but what part of that stuff do I do for him? I'm a pretty shit to average homemaker, He works all day, I say we're even, So why do I expect more from him, without giving more myself? For the record, Mr Bland was a SAHD for two years before I let my career go to have two more babies, he did alright (the house was always messy but he cooked dinner every night and washed all the clothes) all I did was complain about how bad the house looked. He has never complained about the house since I took over or the lack of washing done/food cooked. He has never thanked me or offered to help either. He's not exactly awesome, but perhaps that is on me for always treating him as Bland.
5. Treat being A SAHM as a paid job: Being a mum is full-time, yes, but is being a home-maker full time? It doesn't have to be. It's called Its called getting dressed for to work, getting to work on time, getting the job done quickly and efficiently, and clocking off. If I was my boss I'd fire me. Time to stick to a schedule set targets and achieve goals. I want Housekeeping and cooking to be a part-time job, and I want to excel at it. No one will thank me, no one will pay me, no one will congratulate me; but I have to learn to accept this and be good at it regardless... for me.
6. Challenge myself: The worst part about being Bland is the tedium. Do the same thing everyday, cook the same food, wash the same clothes, talk to The talker, capture The Terror, feed the Snorer. I used to be smart, I used to have dreams of financial success and a first rate career. I intend to find that Awesome woman and bust some caps. 

Well thats my bucket list so far. 

It's midday and Im surrounded by mess, The Snorer is Snoring and The Terror is drawing on the tablecloth. I think the first thing I should do is clean my house. but its too big and too messy Ok, the first thing I'm going to do is clean the kitchen. No. Stop, hold that thought, I haven't eaten today and I'm wearing yesterdays clothes. The First thing I'm going to do is EAT. then I'm going to get clean clothes on and brush my hair... Then I'm going to clean the kitchen. Maybe.