Controlling Mr Bland
So its Mr Blands Day off, The babies fourth day at day care, and It was supposed to be the first day of the Gym. In the last year after a career change saw Mr Bland commuting for three hours a day, Mr bland put on more than 20 kilos. Mr Bland has always been a bit overweight, but in 11 years, it's the first time I've ever thought of him as Obese. Now he's started a new job closer to home, and it's his first day off. After a D&M involving me mostly guilting him into it, Mr bland agreed to come with me to the gym. Apparently He loves going to the Gym, his only complaint was that we just wouldn't have time.
"Pffft of course we have time!" I scolded "We just have to drop The Talker at school, take the babies to day care, spend an hour or so at the Gym, then Pick up Miss Terror for a speech therapy appointment, then drop her back at day care, have lunch (see I totally remembered to eat) then I'll head to the library and you can do whatever you want till it's time to pick up The Talker!"
Then he told me he had some online training to do for work. This is where I lost my head a bit, inviting him to the library to study with me.
You see, the whole point of becoming Mrs Awesome is to change myself. Not to change everyone else, and not to pin my own goals to the success of another. But the thought of going to the lunch with my hubby, going to the Gym with my hubby, then going to the library together and being study buddies (maybe even getting afternoon tea together) was just so nice. Especially when you factor in that it would be without the three kids, something extremely rare. On the way to the Mall after speech therapy I even braved up to ask for a driving lesson.
Dumb Dumb Dumb.
It was horrible. My Usual driving instructor (four lessons in) is much more descriptive with when to turn/break/stay in the lines etc. Mr Bland was quiet and trusting, too quiet and too trusting. after many near misses by the time I got to the mall I was hyperventilating. Thats when he announced he'd already eaten, and didn't feel like going to the gym. In fact he was planning on dropping me off and heading home.
Simultaneously, my lunch date, my gym partner and my study buddy vanished.
I was to do everything alone.
It was my first real test on Becoming Mrs Awesome; and I failed.
Devastated I asked to be driven home, now I'm sitting on my bed feeling sorry for myself instead of being Awesome.
Mr Bland likes to plod along at his own pace, he hates being rushed, pressured or pushed. I tried to control his entire day off by using him to motivate mine. I could say he's just a prick for not being there for me when I needed him, for not sticking to the plan (that I made) and for ditching me; the woman he's supposed to love. But being Mrs Awesome isn't about being Married to Mr Awesome. I've typed it a hundred times but can't seem t remember the number one rule: Only I am responsible for my own happiness. I should have gotten out of the car, worked out at the gym, studied at the library, had a cuppa in a fancy coffee shop and come home feeling independent and Awesome.
I'll try again next week.
Everything I do is bland. My house, my image, my sex life, even my cooking is bland. Having been diagnosed with post natal depression, this blog is about my journey to turn things around. Im married to Mr Bland, I have 3 Kids, The Talker,5 Miss Terror,2 and The Snorer,9ms. I can't drive, am a High school dropout turned sales manager turned SAHM. I want back my body, my career and my independence. I want to be Mrs. Awesome.
Showing posts with label all went wrong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label all went wrong. Show all posts
Monday, 22 October 2012
Friday, 12 October 2012
Becoming Mrs Awesome: Harder than I thought
Awesome Mind, Awesome Body, Awesome Time: The best laid plans...
So after four months on the waiting list I finally got Miss Terror and The Snorer into day care two days a week. The deal is, I have to be studying 15 hours a week and the day care costs are reduced by %70
So with my brain relatively stimulated and worthwhile career prospects on the other side of a 3 year degree I started looking for a Gym. The mall where I used to work is where the babies go to day care and right next door is a Gym, not far off is a library. Can you see a plan forming?
Here was my ridiculously simple plan:
So after four months on the waiting list I finally got Miss Terror and The Snorer into day care two days a week. The deal is, I have to be studying 15 hours a week and the day care costs are reduced by %70
So with my brain relatively stimulated and worthwhile career prospects on the other side of a 3 year degree I started looking for a Gym. The mall where I used to work is where the babies go to day care and right next door is a Gym, not far off is a library. Can you see a plan forming?
Here was my ridiculously simple plan:
- 9:00 am Walk The Talker to school
- Catch the bus to the mall
- Drop the babies at Day Care
- Spend an hour in the Gym
- Spend three hours in the Library doing Online Uni
- Pick the babies up
- Catch the bus to School
- Walk the Talker Home
- Clean the House
- Cook/Feed kids
- Put Kids in bed.
- Relax, have fun, get a good nights sleep
Yeah, right. Heres what actually happened during the first week
- 9:20 am drag The Talker (crying) to school whilst pushing double pram with two babies, carrying two Day Care bags and a lap top
- Missed the bus. went home for an hour, caught the next one
- Dropped the babies at day care
- Skipped the Gym, Mr Bland had agreed to come with me the next day (It's bring a mate for free month)
- Studied for one hour
- Realised the omission of breakfast and lunch on the plan, wandered off to food court.
- Got a call from the day care, The Snorer is sick can I come and get him. *sigh
- Picked up both babies
- Got the bus to school, got a flat tire in the pram
- Reheated frozen food for the kids.
- Put the kids to bed.
- The house is a mess, I forgot to make myself and Mr Bland dinner, Stayed up till 1am, and The Snorer screamed and coughed all night.
Trying to stay positive that It will all work out. If I want to be Awesome I have to be willing to work for it.
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